Happy World Down Syndrome Day
I'm re-posting a blog I wrote in 2015 entitled World Down Syndrome Day: Socks and Scaffolding...Happy World Down Syndrome Day........
On March 21, I will be saying Happy World Down Syndrome Day and I will be wearing 3 pairs of socks. To those of us who are lucky enough to know and love a family member or friend with Down Syndrome, this is a great day!
Down syndrome is a chromosomal disorder. A person with Down Syndrome has 47 chromosomes in each cell instead of 46. This little bit of extra genetic material makes a person with Down Syndrome different from those of us without that extra bit. To make it simple, we say that children and adults with Down Syndrome have "special needs".
When you meet a person with Down Syndrome you know it right away because they look a bit different. A lot of assumptions are made: some are right and some are wrong. It is human to make assumptions. And it is hard to live under other people's misunderstandings.
So on World Down Syndrome day many people wear three socks (to represent that extra genetic bit) and when people stop and say...."ummm...did you notice your socks don't match?" they have an opportunity to tell the full and complex story of how great their sister, friend, son, cousin, aunt, etc...with Down Syndrome is and how they make the world a better place.
Family therapists sometimes call this "scaffolding". On construction sites scaffolding is used to help build something new from a place where there was once nothing. Scaffolding takes the workers where they could otherwise not reach and helps create something new.
Our stories also need scaffolding. Scaffolding connects our stories to each other so we can understand better. It can make connections for us that we might not have made on our own. We all need help to reach something that we don't yet fully understand.
There was a time when many did not know the story that people with Down Syndrome are valuable members of our society and have much to teach us. Many people know that now. Many more people need to know. On March 21st some of us are hoping that wearing 3 socks will help share this story.
Sharing these stories also reminds us that lots of families live with realities that make them feel "not normal": mental illness, physical illness, a family secret, a relationship in distress. People can feel excluded because of their race, sex, or socio economic status (to name but a few).
It is hard to start talking about these things. Scaffolding can help. It can be as simple as saying "I don't agree with that", "This is hard and I need help", or "I don't know what to do but I want to find a better way to deal with this."
It is OK if all you can do is say this quietly at first, to a close and trusted friend. Your bravest voice can be a whisper. It is the start of something. It is scaffolding and it will help you reach to where you can't yet reach. It will bring others around you to help and reach for it too.
If you are reading this and you have that extra genetic bit giving you 47 chromosomes, then I wish you a special Happy World Down Syndrome Day. And I thank you for being so patient with those of us who only have 46. It takes us a little longer learning the things that come so naturally to you.
